Who the hell is this, emailing me at 11:26?

Oh yeah, yesterday morning I received the following text from a number I didn't recognize. "U told billy u told dss to stop the checks thats bullshit." I texted the person back telling them they must have the wrong number. Since that moment, I've become very concerned and I am considering checking up on the person who texted me and inquiring as to whether or not it was in fact, Billy, who was responsible for the checks stopping. Because if he is.... that's bullshit. 

Cracked My Head on the Steering Wheel and I Ain't Even Dead

About a week ago, I did something for the first time. I fainted. In front of about 20 people. There's nothing quite like regaining vision the way you do when you wake up from passing out suddenly. Everything was completely white, except for a small hole in the center of my field of vision. The whole grew and my buddy Brian's face came into view. Simultaneously, I'm regaining my hearing. However, there's wasn't too much noise coming from the party. Mostly it was just people with jaws on the floor wondering.... "Is he dead?" Slowly the hole grew until the whiteness disappeared. I could see.

My head hurt like hell, but I guess I expected some sort of discomfort. In the basement, the foundation has a built-in ledge that a lot of people were sitting on. It ran the entire perimeter of the foundation and was about 2 feet off the ground. I would like to thank God for making sure I was completely unconscious before I smashed the back of my head on it.

I have to agree with Dane Cook when he talks about there being no "cool" way to faint. But I'd like to add there's really no recovering either. I may as well have crawled into an iron lung immediately. Suddenly, I'm the 95 year old grandfather who's about die. You know what I mean..... when you see someone that's so old that you just watch them move about, getting out of cars, opening doors, ascending and descending stairs. It's a spectacle because at any moment, they could die. A femur bone will snap, and they will fall down, creating a domino effect of shattered bones amid a pile of lifeless skin. This is what I became after the fainting.

"Hey, just relax man. Please, sit down. Drink some water. You alright? You hit your head pretty hard. Yeah. That ledge. I dunno, like the back of your head, I think. You hit it like,... directly on your head. You didn't even brace for it. Your eyes just rolled into the back of your head and...... damn, man..... seriously.... take my seat. We thought you were dead."