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Now this is a workout I could do for hours. No treadmills. No medicine balls. Needless to say, the French just stepped it up a notch.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Applauding the Governator: A Step in the Right Direction

LOS ANGELES (KABC) -- The governor signed a bill Monday that cracks down on paparazzi taking illegal photos of stars.

The governor is no stranger to the paparazzi. More than a decade ago, two celebrity photographers were convicted of misdemeanor false imprisonment after the then Hollywood actor and his wife Maria Shriver were pursued by the paparazzi as they drove their son to preschool.

"Governor Schwarzenegger is expressing, I'd say, an international frustration with people who have invaded other people's privacy but even he knows that you can't spell it out on paper," said Jeanne Wolf, celebrity journalist and west coast editor for Parade Magazine.

"Everyone would applaud this law if in fact it did teach paparazzi how to be dignified in their treatment of celebrities and public figures. I don't see that happening right away what I do see happening is a bunch of court cases," Wolf added.

Ugh. I hate Jeanne Wolf. "Celebrity Journalist" is not a noble profession and I will struggle to sleep at night if I have to do this at some point in my career. However, in regards to her predictions about this new law resulting in "a bunch of court cases," all I have to say about that is, ....... I'm fine with it. I hate paparazzi infinitely more than any other "journalistic" profession. I want these people to suffer. I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I see footage of 10 guys shoving their camera in Britney or Lindsay's face, and I HATE Britney and Lindsay.

So as a result, I applaud Governor Schwarzenegger for amending a law that could, hopefully, deter paparazzi as a profession altogether.

Here are a few of my favorite "You deserved that you ass!" moments. (Quentin Tarantino's is the best.)

Nothing to See Here

See more funny videos and Cute Animals Videos at Today's Big Thing.

LeGarrette Blount's Apology to Oregon

Even the most casual sports saw the punch. It was college football's opening night. A jovial Boise State took to the blue turf after a convincing 19-8 victory against the visiting Oregon Ducks. Some of the Broncos player became overzealous in celebration. Sophmore defensive end Byron Hout approached a dejected Ducks running back, and taunted him about the win. LeGarrette Blount, the Duck running back, reacted.

As a result, Blount was suspended indefinitely from the University of Oregon football team.

This past Thursday, 29 days after the incident, LeGarrette Blount addressed his peers in the school newspaper. He apologized for his actions that night. He noted that he misrepresented the coaching staff, and the university. He stated that being a positive part of the football program, or even a member of the community, are not within his expectations. Since he is a senior, Blount will not have eligibility in 2010.

ESPN's Joe Schad reports that LeGarrette Blount might get his chance to save a little face.

"The suspended running back will have an opportunity to be reinstated to the program later this season, provided he continues to follow a plan set in place after the first game, a source told ESPN on Thursday.

...

Blount has been participating in Oregon practice as a member of the scout team and has been attending classes.

Kelly had previously said reinstatement was not an option. But Blount has impressed many people he's spoken with as part of the plan. Among those people are Tony Dungy, Jon Gruden, Kermit Washington and noted sociologist and scholar Harry Edwards, a professor emeritus at Cal-Berkeley.

Blount has recently become a father. A person familiar with Kelly's plan said the resinstatement would not come immediately and likely not before Oregon's bye week on Oct. 17."

NFL Power Ranking: Averages

A lot of websites put up Power Rankings each week. Here are 6 websites that do so:

NFL.com, ESPN, NBC, CBS, FOX, and the Bleacher Report.

The New York Giants are tops on the list with an average ranking of 1.83. Cleveland Browns are clear bottom feeders with an average rank of 31.3. My beloved Patriots were ranked as high as 5 and as low as 8.Philadelphia had the most disparity with an average rank of 8, but were ranked as high as 4 and as low as 14. Below is a list of the composite averages of all 6 websites.

1. Giants

2. Ravens

3. Colts

4. Saints

5. Vikings

6. Jets

7. Patriots

8. Eagles

9. Falcons

10. Chargers

11. Steelers

12. Packers

13. Bengals

14. 49ers

15. Bears

16. Cowboys

17. Broncos

18. Titans

19. Cardinals

20. Texans

21. Bills

22. Jaguars

23. Seahawks

24. Dolphins

25. Redskins

26. Panthers

27. Lions

28. Raiders

29. Chiefs and Buccaneers (tie)

31. Rams

32. Browns

P.S. The whole reason I spent an hour and half doing the math to come up with these averages was because I wanted to know which website was the most accurate with their own rankings when compared with the averages. ESPN had 10 correct, NFL and NBC had 9, Fox had 7, Bleacher Report had 6, and CBS had 5. Am I the only person on the planet that cares. Probably.

67 Bodies Unclaimed in Detroit Morgue

DETROIT (CNNMoney.com) -- At 1300 E. Warren St., you can smell the plight of Detroit.

Inside the Wayne County morgue in midtown Detroit, 67 bodies are piled up, unclaimed, in the freezing temperatures. Neither the families nor the county can afford to bury the corpses. So they stack up inside the freezer.

A few things I learned from this article:

A) Apparently it costs $700 to cremate someone. Seems a bit high.

B) I guess when you work at a morgue, policies like "first-arrived, first-buried" are commonplace.

C) The fact that 66 bodies are left unclaimed in Detroit (or any major city) doesn't really surprise me. When you take into account homeless people, and the condition of the economy, I could see the number being much higher.

Tito Ortiz Is From The Streets Dog

Why is it that whenever I get approached by a homeless person, I instantly feel like they have the upper hand? I start stuttering and getting nervous like this guy knows EXACTLY how much money is in my wallet. Only a few occasions in my life have I been able to truthfully tell a homeless man that I am dead broke. As in "Sir, I'm serious, I've got ZERO dollars on me." If I'm in Boston, I usually have the wherewithal to bring whatever money I'll need. But if it's Sunday morning, and the previous night went well, I'm lucky to have money for a coffee.

Which brings me to the Tito Ortiz thing. What was the one thing Tito had in back pocket? Not money, but truth. (Ok, he's definitely got money, too.) But this man doesn't feel an iota of guilt telling a bum to GTFO. And that's because he can look him in the eye and say "I came from the streets. Laziness gets you no where."

I didn't come from Cohasset or Newton, but I certainly didn't come from the streets. So when bums ask for cash, I desperately want to tell them that I'm broke too, but I usually relent, and fork over (at least) a dollar. Only on those rare occasions where I TRUTHFULLY have no dollars on me, that I can tell them, "Sorry, man, I got nothing for ya."

Chicago Gang Violence Leads to Death

Unbelievably shocking footage of a two rival Chicago gangs warring in the streets caught on amateur footage.

I'm kind of speechless on this one. The report makes it sound like the rival gangs made a conscious decision not to use guns or knives. Are boards noble? Am I missing something?

Thoughts on the Halo Movie

This is the short video that Bungie Studios made along with then-director Neil Blomkamp. For Halo die-hards, this short film shows action from the plot-line hours before the start of events of Halo 3. Since I'm such a fan-boy to this particular project I can't honestly express I feel. By this I mean, I think this would be an incredible trailer as far as movie standards go. But in actuality, seeing spike grenades and rocket launches to spec of the Halo Universe is enough to leave me enthralled. Sadly, Blomkamp is no longer with the project. In fact, the whole project is dead. IMDB lists it as "in production," but that doesn't mean that people are actually doing things for the movie at all. Most recently Steven Spielberg has been rumored to be attached to the project, but with Microsoft releasing a statement that the project will be on hold until other Bungie projects are finished.

I saw District 9 a few weeks ago and couldn't help but think that the entire movie was made because the Halo movie fell through. The aliens were so similar to the Covenant Elite, and the live-action sequences in the movie were on par with the sequences in the video posted above. In all likelihood, this just means that Blomkamp has a distinct cinematic style which could follow him throughout his career. Like I said, I'm sad that the movie has a lot of obstacles to overcome, but after seeing District 9, although I liked it, I guess I can wait. Whoever decides to direct/produce Halo will be able to emulate what Blomkamp did right, and adjust things that he did wrong.

Plaxico Burress Will Likely Face "Man-to-Man" Coverage

Today, Deadspin outlined that Plaxico Burress' infamous self-inflicted gunshot wound was not accurately reported by the New York Post. A Dec. 1st article from the Post indicated that Burress attempted to conceal the weapon in his sweatpants. Recently, in an interview with Jeremy Schaap of ESPN, Burress stated that the sweatpants tale was false, and that he was wearing jeans on that fateful night. These "facts" do not make Jon Stewart any less funny. Because in all likelihood, Burress is simply trying to make a little bit less of an ass of himself as possible. I wish Plaxico the best of luck in prison. Reports are that he will spend more time alone due to his celebrity, in an attempt to "protect" the NFL star from unnecessary harassment from other inmates.

Prank your girlfriend/wife/mistress

Girlfriend Scared by Fake Head in Bed - Watch more Funny Videos

I have a girlfriend right now who lives at school. I live at home about an hour away and we see each other about once a week. She's an absolute sweetheart and I couldn't be luckier to have her. With that said, it's videos like this that make me wish we could fast forward 2 years until she graduates so we can have a place together. This is what true love is all about. Behavior like this appeals to me just as much as procreating does.

Weekend Observations

This past weekend I went to Medford to hang out with a few friends from college. Saturday night, we went to Hurricane O'Reilly's. Nightclubs are not my forte but I wasn't really throwing out any better ideas. For most of the night, I enjoyed a bevy of fun activities. Often times I was standing in close proximity to the group I came with. The music was far too loud to talk, and none of us are any good at dancing with girls, so there wasn't much action going on. This is undoubtedly my main concern when forced to "club." The whole atmosphere should be prefaced with a "Non-Ballers need not apply" style advisory. Going to semi-formal and homecoming dances were far more fun than this solely because there was a place to go and sit down when standing up sucked. But I was there, and I was stuck there.

At no age will I be bored with personal games; private competitions and adventures I put myself through simply hoping that some form of entertainment (for me) ensues. Saturday night's game was of the simpler variety. There was no intended goal. I just chose the thickest and most dense portion of the people on the dance floor, and walked in between everyone. I bumped into just about everyone, made eye contact with others, and had many of those awkward passing moments where two people need to go in opposite directions, but continue to motion to the same path, and then nearly bump into each other about 3 or 4 times in a row, until finally, the alpha human involved, definitively marks a course for either him/herself, or adamantly urges the other person to pass. This happened to me a lot in the halls of school. When this happens to me, I have a witty comment at my disposal to ease the tension of the moment. I am not going to share it with you, but I came up with it about 10 years ago, and will probably be using it 10 years from now. The club was too loud for this, but I wasn't out there to tell jokes. I like to picture myself as Catherine Zeta Jones in the movie Entrapment when Sean Connery's character trains her to maneuver, nimbly through the infrared wires that were guarding a priceless Chinese mask. Only in my case, once I maneuvered to the other side of the dance floor, there was less of an ancient artifact, and more of a sudden realization that I'm very drunk and all by myself.

So I parallel double parked that motherfucker sideways

I'm finally going to get serious about leaving more notes on people's cars. I did it the other day and coincidentally got to see the guy's reaction. He read the note and then circled his entire car, with a facial expression that said "Pleeeasse.... this is fiiiiiiiine." Then I thought... "What if that guy came out and was handicapped or something?" Yeah, right. If that's the case then I'm definitely going out and kicking his ass for parking like that.

Plus he has the spinner from his dayton's in his hand, keys in his hand, reason again, to let you know he's the man

For a long time I was upset I didn't get a chance to see the movie "Iron Man," starring Robert Downey Jr. Even when the movie was being hyped up last year, I was perplexed by the fact that Hollywood gave this guy a leading role since the ongoing punch line for years that Downey was a complete drug addict and not particularly talented to begin with. So the fact that Marvel chose him to be a protagonist their movie never sat right with me. But as Ari Gold once said, "Hollywood loves a comeback."

From the reports of friends, I was pretty sure the movie would be pretty good. The current standard for super hero movies is set pretty high and all the ones I've seen have found a way to be impressive in their own way. "Iron man" was painfully unimpressive. There were a lot of fallible qualities in this movie but the one I hated most was the writing. I realize that Tony Stark as a character was supposed to the colloquial "man," one who is simultaneously cooler, hotter, smarter and more casual than all of us could possibly strive to be. But I haven't seen a character's characteristics shoved so far down an audience's throat since..... ever. It's never this horrible. Lines like "If my calculations are correct, and they usually are.....," make this movie not only unenjoyable but painful.

I realize that super-hero movies should be flooded with implausible scenarios, but there is a certain subtlety to character development that escapes this movie. Somewhere along the line, an audience member wants to feel that they've "discovered" something about the character that wasn't laid directly in front of them. Tony Stark and his epic "coolness" was shoved down my throat a day and half ago and I've been coughing him up and spitting him out the front door ever since.

Who the hell is this, emailing me at 11:26?

Oh yeah, yesterday morning I received the following text from a number I didn't recognize. "U told billy u told dss to stop the checks thats bullshit." I texted the person back telling them they must have the wrong number. Since that moment, I've become very concerned and I am considering checking up on the person who texted me and inquiring as to whether or not it was in fact, Billy, who was responsible for the checks stopping. Because if he is.... that's bullshit. 

Cracked My Head on the Steering Wheel and I Ain't Even Dead

About a week ago, I did something for the first time. I fainted. In front of about 20 people. There's nothing quite like regaining vision the way you do when you wake up from passing out suddenly. Everything was completely white, except for a small hole in the center of my field of vision. The whole grew and my buddy Brian's face came into view. Simultaneously, I'm regaining my hearing. However, there's wasn't too much noise coming from the party. Mostly it was just people with jaws on the floor wondering.... "Is he dead?" Slowly the hole grew until the whiteness disappeared. I could see.

My head hurt like hell, but I guess I expected some sort of discomfort. In the basement, the foundation has a built-in ledge that a lot of people were sitting on. It ran the entire perimeter of the foundation and was about 2 feet off the ground. I would like to thank God for making sure I was completely unconscious before I smashed the back of my head on it.

I have to agree with Dane Cook when he talks about there being no "cool" way to faint. But I'd like to add there's really no recovering either. I may as well have crawled into an iron lung immediately. Suddenly, I'm the 95 year old grandfather who's about die. You know what I mean..... when you see someone that's so old that you just watch them move about, getting out of cars, opening doors, ascending and descending stairs. It's a spectacle because at any moment, they could die. A femur bone will snap, and they will fall down, creating a domino effect of shattered bones amid a pile of lifeless skin. This is what I became after the fainting.

"Hey, just relax man. Please, sit down. Drink some water. You alright? You hit your head pretty hard. Yeah. That ledge. I dunno, like the back of your head, I think. You hit it like,... directly on your head. You didn't even brace for it. Your eyes just rolled into the back of your head and...... damn, man..... seriously.... take my seat. We thought you were dead."